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It caught up to me at work. The pain finally caught up to me to where physically and mentally I could not function. Yesterday was yet another uber busy day at work and I was assisting in a 4.5 hour sedation in an ergonomically odd position the entire time. By the time hour 3 rolled around, I was in awful pain. I was twisted in such a way at one point, that I actually could not breathe well and I began to get dizzy. I felt like was going to pass out, but I had to keep assisting.
At the end of the sedation, I was finally able to get out of the room to get some air. I could barely walk. Every step I took felt like the friction of a bunch of pebbles being ground into the pavement. I had to sneak out through the back of the building because I was hurting so bad. I cried to myself and when I got situated enough to go back inside, no one noticed. No one cared I think. I had more patients to take and as the day went on, my body protested. My right arm became extremely weak. I kept dropping things and could not even open anything. But I need a paycheck so on and on I went. When I got in my car I cried, when I got home I cried, and took a long hot shower. I laid flat on my back for an hour. I went to bed early as well. Today, it still hurts but not as bad. My back is sore all over and hurts on my right thoracic when I take a deep breath. Hopefully soon this pain will be a thing of the past.
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 A couple of weeks ago, I wasn't able to hold a book I was reading with my right hand. All of a sudden I dropped it. My thumb lost all strength. I kept trying to bend it but it would't do it all the way. The next morning, it felt weaker but worked better. Well, yesterday I was at my mother's house and the craziest thing happened... I wasn't able to use my right arm very well. Everything was very heavy, I was shaky, and I could not open anything. That is the first time my arm has done that. It began when I was driving to her house.
All day long my right arm hurt and was numb at the same time. From my shoulder to the palm of my hand where my thumb meets it. I could not open a juice bottle. I was also attempting to cut a pork chop at dinner and I couldn't. I honestly could not grip my right hand around the knife and apply pressure/weight to cut it up! My mother had to cut my food up for me. I am going to be 29 years old in August and my mother had to cut my food up for me to eat. Do you have any idea what that feels like? How scary that is? My mom didn't know what to think. It scared her. It scared me. It must be a pinched nerve from the contorting and twisting that my spine has done. With my spine pulling more to the right, it was just a matter of time before more numbness and other pains began. But temporary atrophy/pain in my dominant arm? If it gets more frequent, it will effect my life in every imaginable way. I'm to young to feel this way. Like I said on my homepage of this site, "Your spine is like an aging dock......Two choices then become present: either leave it alone and eventually it will rot away or rebuild". My remodeling date is set for October 3rd.  Breathe...Relax....Yoga....
To be honest with you, I never thought Yoga would be able to relax me or be beneficial to my health. With this Spinal Fusion surgery coming up though, it has me thinking about my life. The tension and negativity that I have carried throughout my life not only made the muscles in my back tight and hurt more, my mind was hardly ever clear. Let me tell you, I have only been doing yoga for a couple of weeks and I can already feel a difference in my muscles when I do the poses. My attitude is changing as well. I have noticed that I let negativity just roll off me, unlike in the past. I got to say....I am liking it. I can see myself doing this for possibly my whole life. Yoga has positive effects on your body's systems too. Muscles, skeletal system, circulation, glands, immune system, nervous system, and mind. It teaches you to stay grounded, to breathe, and relax. I am mad at myself for not trying Yoga sooner. It doesn't hurt my back; it stretches it really well. I am still a newbie but hopefully one day I'll be a pro. I really enjoy Yoga and would recommend to to anyone. Where is the awareness? Did you know that June is National Scoliosis Awareness Month?
Did you know that the educational tools to teach about Scoliosis are prehistoric? Did you know that 4 states in the USA have completely omitted the Scoliosis screenings from Public School systems because they thought it was pointless? Did you know that there are hardly any charities or support groups out there for us? Did you know that only approximately 3% of the population have some form of Scoliosis? Did you know that YOU can do something about this? Stand up and make it known that you are a survivor. Embrace your curves!  I decided to make an appointment at an Orthopedic office about 2 months ago because the pain started to get intolerable. I can barely make it through a day of work. I'm stuck in ergonomically horrible positions for someone like me. Why couldn't they tell me before I started school for dental assisting, " If you have a bad back, do not pursue this career." Private college be truthful? Ha! Yeah right.
Anyway, I arrived at my appointment an hour early. I was so nervous. It poured down rain on the way there and I was yelling at my boyfriend because I thought we'd be late. Poor Yvenson. He just kept calm and kept telling me it would be fine. He keeps me grounded. When I was called to go back to a room I thought I was going to puke. 11 years is too long to keep this waiting.... I changed into my gown and took x-rays. The Physician's Assistant came in and got a run down on what's going on and why I came. She checked my reflexes and any areas that did not feel normal to me. Besides the constant thoracic pain, left shoulder feeling on fire, no feeling in my left arm and hand, right palm numb, and hips hurting to walk.... I felt great. The doctor came in and told me something I never expected. My curve progressed to 62 degrees. My heart fell into the pit of my stomach. It took everything I had not to cry. He said I needed surgery or else it will keep getting worse. It has started to push on my lungs. I will become disabled by the time I am middle aged if I do not do anything. On top of that, my curve has now begun to curve outwards causing my right shoulder blade to protrude. The surgery will last minimum of 6 hours and I would be opened from basically the point right above my shoulder blades to right above my hips. All types of rods and screws will be placed. He says that he should be able to get my curve to at least 22-24 degrees. Fantastic! That would be like a having a brand new back! The doctor gave me the information I need on what to do if I decide to have the surgery. His office staff was really nice and told me I can come back to consult again if need be. No paralysis, impairments, or deaths on this doctor's table either. I have to do it. I have too. My son is counting on me. I do not want to be in a wheelchair or be disabled any worse than what I am. I felt like I got sucked into another dimension. Yvenson drove home. I do not remember anything that was said. I feel like I am in mourning. Like I'm mourning the normal straight spine I never had. I feel like a freak. I have not slept tonight..... New diagnoses: Right Thoracic Kyphoscoliosis |
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