July 26th, 2013
I had my MRI today and I managed to keep myself sane. The reason I say this is because I was in this claustrophobic machine for 50 minutes. I could not move for 50 minutes. That is not easy to do. Luckily, I don't mind small spaces but, I can see why some people need a sedative beforehand.
Screech, BAM, and ping is all I heard the entire time. And let me tell you, ear plugs barely help. What's crazier is my lower back is hurting horribly now. It has to be from laying on that hard board with my knees propped up. Ugh, at least it's over. On to the next one.....
July 25th, 2013
My mind is set on overdrive
The clock is laughing in my face
A crooked spine
My sense's dulled
Passed the point of delirium
On my own
Here we go
- Green Day ( Brain Stew )
Lost in Wonderland and my name is Alice. Or so it seems because apparently I have been bonkers lately. Oh me, oh my, I'm waiting for a very important date. Only I can't be in a world chasing a white rabbit down a hole. My world is a Spinal Fusion clock tick tick ticking way too fast.
It has been brought to my attention that while I am trucking through the days at work or being home with my family, I have been oblivious to the fact that I have gone mad. Everyone says I'm still nice, funny, and thoughtful but, it seem as though I'm always somewhere else. Like I'm here but not really. I have been told that I am being distant. Trust me, I do not mean to be. My mind is on a vacation, I guess. The last thing I want is to make anyone feel unwanted.
All the stuff I have to get situated at work before my surgery, all my doctor appointments coming up, being a mother, and going into a surgery not knowing if I'll even have a job afterwards is really weighing heavy.
I will try to be knowledgeable when my mind wants to check out of Hotel Tiffany. In the mean time, please be patient with me.
"But it's no use going back to yesterday, because I was a different person then." - Alice in Wonderland
“It is health that is the real wealth and not pieces of gold and silver.“ -Mahatma Gandhi.
“Yoga is the fountain of youth. You’re only as young as your spine is flexible.”- Bob Harper.
“Accepting means you allow yourself to feel whatever it is you are feeling at that moment. It is part of the isness of the Now. You can’t argue with what is. Well, you can, but if you do, you suffer.” - Eckhart Tolle
“Yoga does not remove us from the reality or responsibilities of everyday life but rather places our feet firmly and resolutely in the practical ground of experience. We don’t transcend our lives; we return to the life we left behind in the hopes of something better.” - Donna Farhi
"Holding on to anger is like grasping a hot coal with the intent of throwing it at someone else; you are the one who gets burned."- Buddha
"I saw that." - Karma
July 18th, 2013
Pardon my dust....
A couple of weeks ago, I wasn't able to hold a book I was reading with my right hand. All of a sudden I dropped it. My thumb lost all strength. I kept trying to bend it but it would't do it all the way. The next morning, it felt weaker but worked better. Well, yesterday I was at my mother's house and the craziest thing happened... I wasn't able to use my right arm very well. Everything was very heavy, I was shaky, and I could not open anything. That is the first time my arm has done that. It began when I was driving to her house.
All day long my right arm hurt and was numb at the same time. From my shoulder to the palm of my hand where my thumb meets it. I could not open a juice bottle. I was also attempting to cut a pork chop at dinner and I couldn't. I honestly could not grip my right hand around the knife and apply pressure/weight to cut it up! My mother had to cut my food up for me. I am going to be 29 years old in August and my mother had to cut my food up for me to eat. Do you have any idea what that feels like? How scary that is? My mom didn't know what to think. It scared her. It scared me.
It must be a pinched nerve from the contorting and twisting that my spine has done. With my spine pulling more to the right, it was just a matter of time before more numbness and other pains began. But temporary atrophy/pain in my dominant arm? If it gets more frequent, it will effect my life in every imaginable way. I'm to young to feel this way. Like I said on my homepage of this site, "Your spine is like an aging dock......Two choices then become present: either leave it alone and eventually it will rot away or rebuild". My remodeling date is set for October 3rd.
The Surgical Coordinator for my Orthopedic surgeon emailed me all the dates and times of the tests that are required before my surgery. Besides the MRI appointment that I made for 07/26/13, there are 5 others. Here's the list:
We're in countdown mode......
Surrender and Let Go
To be honest with you, I never thought Yoga would be able to relax me or be beneficial to my health. With this Spinal Fusion surgery coming up though, it has me thinking about my life. The tension and negativity that I have carried throughout my life not only made the muscles in my back tight and hurt more, my mind was hardly ever clear. Let me tell you, I have only been doing yoga for a couple of weeks and I can already feel a difference in my muscles when I do the poses. My attitude is changing as well. I have noticed that I let negativity just roll off me, unlike in the past. I got to say....I am liking it. I can see myself doing this for possibly my whole life.
Yoga has positive effects on your body's systems too. Muscles, skeletal system, circulation, glands, immune system, nervous system, and mind. It teaches you to stay grounded, to breathe, and relax. I am mad at myself for not trying Yoga sooner. It doesn't hurt my back; it stretches it really well.
I am still a newbie but hopefully one day I'll be a pro. I really enjoy Yoga and would recommend to to anyone.
College Drop Out...Again....
You know the song from Grease where Frenchy sings about being a Beauty School drop out? Well, that tune is stuck in my head like a broken record. The only difference, I dropped out of college. I had too. I went to the school and the Advisers suggested that it would be best not chance failing any classes even though I was going to take them online. One of my classes' tests would be at the college 3 times that semester but, my surgery would be hitting at mid-term time. Bad combination. Especially when you can't walk that great.
So, I guess that means I'll have to try again for the Spring 2014 semester. It's only taken me a decade to enroll and all.......
I have been researching ways to make my healing process after the surgery not so painful and long. What I keep finding is that a healthy diet and exercise will make your muscles heal and gain my strength back. It will also give the energy to want to get up and moving around. I even got a blender to blend fruits and vegetables so I can make sure I get the nutrients I need after the Spinal Fusion surgery.
Here is what I have discovered:
Eat the right foods and drink enough fluids to help you heal and regain strength. Eat foods high in protein, iron and calcium such as peanut butter, eggs, meat, cheese, milk, yogurt and green leafy vegetables. Eat high fiber foods and drink plenty of fluids to help prevent constipation.
- High fiber foods include whole-grain cereals, bread, fruits and raw vegetables. Sometimes eating 5 or 6 small meals a day will keep you from feeling “too full” after eating.
- Drink six 8 ounce glasses of water a day.
I have already begun eating differently to give my body a head start. Next, checking out Yoga for Scoliosis.
I have been trying to figure out ways to wash my hair after my surgery. Seems like so something so simple to worry about. But really, how am I going to when I have an incision from top to bottom? So far, I have thought about going to a salon. Easiest choice but, my incision will be to high and I won't be able to lay my head back on the sink. Then there is that contraption that you attach to a facet and it becomes a shower head. I would have to lay over a chair, stomach down, and have someone wash my hair for me. Finally, dry shampoo. It would be okay for a couple of days but a week or two...I don't know about that. I've even heard to put cornstarch or baking soda in your hair to soak up the oil. Hey, I might have to give it a try.
I am probably going to stink! LOL
I set the appointment for the MRI that the doctor needed to perform my Spinal Fusion surgery. He requested the cervical, thoracic, and lumbar (basically my entire back) to be the main focus in the image. The doctor wants me to bend over like I am reaching for something in this MRI. Different way of doing it.... maybe it allows the doctor to see where all my nerves run and how my discs lay. Just a hypothesis...